Diary of a dog and cat
DOG DIARY
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt
me with bizarrelittledangling objects. They dine
lavishly on fresh meat, while the otherinmatesand
I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets Although
I make my contemptfor the rations perfectly clear,
I nevertheless must eat something inorderto keep up
my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is
my dream of escape.In an attempt to disgust them,
I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless
body at theirfeet.I had hoped this would strike fear
into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what
I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am.Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration
of the event. However, I couldhearthe noises and smell
the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to
the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means,
and how to useit tomy advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to
assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around
his feet as he was walking.I must try this again
tomorrow…but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies
and snitches.The dog receives special privileges. He is
regularly released – and seems tobe more than willing to
return. He is obviously retarded.The bird has got to be
an informant. I observe him communicate with theguards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protective custody for him
in an elevated cell, so he issafe.For now……..